Noise

i heard a noise in this darkness;

a noise which instilled the fear of death.

which got me thinking:

my joints hurt a bit;

there are white hairs on my head;

high school has come and gone;

college has come and will soon pass.

“i too shall pass” says my life.

instead

a note will never be enough
nothing i say will ever ease the pain
these thoughts
these obsessions
they don’t matter
because they are an absolute end
an end i’ll never be able to explain
a hurt no one will ever understand
my only reason is that i cannot leave
without a proper explanation
but that can never be given

so i will write this poem
instead of two dozen notes

so i will recite this poem
instead of three dozen ways

so i will share this poem
instead of infinite pain

wind

Cold
Piercing
Frozen
Frostbit
Numb
Red
Shivering
Dry

winter

With each flake that touches the grass,
life fades before my eyes.
The bitter cold pierces through
each leaf, each branch, each petal.
With each moment of fading light,
depression takes over.
Dying. Dying. Dying.
Dead.
And so it begins.

adverb

floating down
none are ever the same
streaming up
it can’t ever be that way
stumbling around
to where no one sees
falling out
this place isn’t right
seeping in
the cold heart aches
wandering nowhere
no home is ever enough

career

i wish to be a writer
to weep on the page
and bleed ink from a pen

i wish to be a writer
to display my life on a bookshelf
and show myself through text

i wish to be a writer
to swim across universes
and soar into new worlds

i wish to be myself
whoever that may be
in whatever world i’m placed